First of all, I am hardly ever sick, and when I am, it's even rarer that I will go see a doctor (I believe that I should spare all those poor people in the waiting room and I don't want to catch whatever they have). I am generally very healthy, so whenever I get sick, I mean really sick, I'm miserable. Sick=miserable. But that wasn't the point of what everyone was saying. Their point was that I was on holiday in a foreign country and instead of enjoying my holiday I was in the Majors Ward. I guess from their perspective it would have been awful, but I had a completely different perspective on the whole situation. Let me share with you why I believe that the kidney stone was one of my greatest blessings on the trip.
Starting with the day before, I hardly ate anything. I lost my appetite and I was very tired. I just assumed it was from being on the go for a week operating on less sleep than I'd like. I had been talking with the other girls about what the Saturday schedule was going to look like. I encouraged them to sleep in a little later because they were tired, too. And I reminded them that as we moved on to our next host church and the BBQ that they had planned that they were going to be excited and eager to meet us and it would be important not to brush them off because we were tired. This would be our second week, but it was important that we go into it with as much energy enthusiasm as the first week because it was their "first week". Later that evening the minister came to me with "bad news". He had just been in contact with the other minister and apparently they weren't going to pick us up as early as we had originally thought. The minister then explained to me that he was concerned because 1.) he had a wedding to perform and couldn't look after us and 2.) he felt like it was too late to ask the people in the church to come up with an activity for us. I told him not to worry about it, that actually it was providential, as long as the church hall was open, we could just be dropped off by our hosts at the scheduled time (so that they could go on with their plans for the day) and we could just chill until we were picked up (I was sure that the couches would all be occupied by exhausted team members), and I told him not to worry about feeding us, we could just walk down the street to the grocery store and buy our own food. They had been wonderful hosts and we weren't put out in the least that this had happened. He thought the plan was agreeable so we went off to tell the team members and host families. Actually, it worked out great because the girls were asked to do a private ballet lesson, everyone was happy.
Saturday morning was supposed to be my morning to sleep in (granted, I still had to pack) but at 4:30 I woke up in severe pain. I had no clue what was going on. Disoriented and unable to catch my breath because with each pain wave it was knocked out again I ran through possibilities of what was going on. Was it my appendix? I had no clue which side the appendix is on, but I knew that if that's what it was, it could be very serious...I Google searched it...not my appendix. Other than ruling out the appendix, the search was quite unhelpful. So I woke up my roommate, she was just as disoriented as I was, and texted my dad (like he could do anything), took ibuprofen, my roommate went back to sleep, and for a few hours I fluctuated from dull pain to excruciating and nauseating pain before I finally woke up my host. Because it was Saturday my options were 1.) wait for a doctor to get to his office or 2.) go to the A&E. The decision for the A&E was made just as another wave of pain hit like a ton of bricks. We woke up my roommate again, who, still disoriented, made plans to go to the hospital with me.
My first thought when we called for an ambulance (the reason for the ambulance being that I would be admitted faster) was Thank God our plans changed last night. He was providing for the team in more ways than we expected. It's now 9:30, we were originally supposed to be picked up at 10, at least this way the team (and new church) won't be waiting on me...Then came the ambulance ride, my first ever (and Lord willing, last) ambulance ride. As someone who is prone to motion sickness, I was a little worried about the ride, but God held of the next wave of pain and nausea until after we arrived at the hospital...but I'm getting a little ahead of myself. I don't know too much about medical bills, again, I'm generally a healthy person, but I do remember that when my "baby" brother was about 5 he had a few ER visits and ambulance rides and I remember my parents talking about how they were going to pay the bills, especially the one for the ambulance. As I rode in that ambulance I thought about how Memorial Day weekend someone emptied my bank account and although the bank promised to get my money back for me (she made it sound like it would happen fast) I still was waiting (even now as I write this I am still waiting on my money to be returned). Okay, to be honest, I wouldn't be able to afford the bill even if the money wasn't stolen, I live on a single teacher's salary with student loans that I'm working to pay off. The money that was stolen was the cushion that I was just starting to build up. I knew that I had to trust in God's provision in the matter.
When we arrived at the hospital the Majors Ward was full so we went back to Reception where I signed my life away. Northern Ireland has socialized health care for its citizens, but since I'm not a citizen of Northern Ireland I had to sign a form saying that I would pay for the services. I took a deep breath--God will provide, He is not surprised by this turn of events, He is faithful--and signed. I thought about the insurance that I thought we got for the trip, I didn't know how it would work, but I was sure once I could contact someone it would all be taken care of. Shortly a bed opened up in the Majors Ward and and once again we waited. For the first time the whole trip I really felt like I was in another county. I was disconnected, which hadn't bothered me before, but this time it left me feeling quite helpless. It had been 5 hours since my last contact with my dad (shortly after I texted him, I lost the ability to send any more messages to update him...iMessage said it couldn't connect to the internet...oddly enough I was still able to connect to Facebook so shortly before I left the house I posted what was happening, hoping that he would see it). Neither my roommate or I had any ability to contact anyone, our phones only worked with wifi, so we sat there wondering how the rest of the team was doing, who would pick us up when it was all over, etc.
It was a long day with a lot of waiting. Blood and urine samples were taken and I was sent off for an X-ray...I sighed I'm going to be in debt for the rest of my life but God is good. Lunch was served and a member of the congregation showed up...relief. Actually, the other team members were all at his house, so when he got there he called his wife and the silence was broken. At least now people would know what was going on. Then another wave of pain hit that was just as bad as the one that woke me up. The others excused themselves to get food and to let me rest and the nurse came back reporting that nothing showed up on the X-ray but the blood showed a problem with my kidney and she told me that they were prepping a CT scan for me...then she realized I was in pain and administered morphine (I had previously refused morphine in the ambulance, but this time it was so bad that I was ready for some relief). When she left, and my head cleared a little, I found myself praying. I prayed for all of the people we worked with over the past week. I prayed for the private ballet lessons. I prayed for the upcoming week. I praised God because He is sovereign. I asked God for His provision (by that point I finally had contact with the person who was supposed to get the insurance...he said I would have to submit the paperwork when I got home and I would be reimbursed). And then I acknowledged that God has a purpose for all things, it was no accident that I was in the hospital, and I prayed that God would open the door for me to share my faith (everyone in the ward was talking about me, so I knew that there would be an opportunity) and that He would give me the boldness once the door was opened.
While I was praying, someone in a bed near me started to sing. I don't know what she was singing, but I think she was singing to her husband. When I finished my prayer, my morphine induced state emboldened me to also start singing. This is not normal for me. Yes, I like to sing, but I also am reserved and don't like to draw attention to myself, but I thought, hey, if other people are singing, I might as well sing praises to my God. I'm pretty sure I sang "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" because we sang it the night before and it was still floating around in my head. When I finished, I dozed off until the nurse came to take me for my CT scan. She asked lots of questions, but my head was fuzzy, so I was concerned that I was giving the right answers...I do know that I told her I was there to work with local churches to help with their Bible Club...she was disinterested. Then the technician asked me a series of questions, again I wondered if I was giving the right answers, but then I remember very clearly his curiosity of why in the world I was in Northern Ireland...so I dove in. I told him that I wasn't on holiday that I was working with a church. I talked about my love for the people in Ireland and how it paled in comparison to God's love. I talked about sin and our need for salvation and that the salvation only comes through Jesus Christ. I hope I made sense...anyway, it's God who saves, not me, I am just an instrument.
When I went back to the Majors Ward I was informed by my roommate that the church member had talked with Reception and that I would not be charged for the visit. I don't know how he took care of that, but I am grateful. After a little more waiting (for a total of 6 hours in the A&E) they reported back that they found a small kidney stone, that I should be able to pass it on my own, they prescribed pain killers and something else to help with the kidney stone, and scheduled a followup visit. A side note, during the time I was in the hospital we were in contact with the other church and once again the pick up time was moved back so by the time I was released I had plenty of time to have tea (I still wasn't feeling great so I only ate toast), go back and pack, and then meet up with our new hosts.
Never once did I doubt God's sovereignty in the event. I trusted that He would provide a way to pay for all the expenses that were piling up, I just didn't know how. I knew that He had a purpose, I just didn't know what other than to show His power and glory. Even in the days ahead as my recovery was slow (I didn't pass the kidney stone until late Tuesday night) I felt God's presence and strength. I was never actually admitted in my followup, I sat in a waiting room and the doctor visited me there, I had more blood work, an ultrasound (which showed the kidney stone was still there), got more medicine, but still no bill. Even though the medicine made me extremely drowsy, God gave me the strength to keep going in the ministry (I did miss all of the Sunday events and a couple of the outings, but even when I was feeling absolutely rotten God strengthened me for the Bible Club).
Again I will say that I believe that the kidney stone was one of the greatest blessings on the trip. Through it God displayed His power as a provider, as sovereign, as the One who gives strength for His glory. It was a blessing that strengthened my faith. A blessing that I will be able to look back on in the future and say, See what God did? God can do the same now. And even if He doesn't, I will still praise Him.
"Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing"
by Robert Robinson
Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
Mount of God's unchanging love.
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I'm come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let that grace now like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
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