I love the music of Keith and Kristyn Getty. It's powerful, filled with the gospel, and so full of worship. One of my favorite songs, "O Church Arise" has been playing over and over in my head for days now. In light of recent events, the catastrophes across the globe, particularly the events in Paris on November 13, my prayer has become increasingly more a plea for the Church to arise..."an army bold whose battle cry is 'Love!' Reaching out to those in darkness."
Terrorism thrives on instilling terror in the hearts of people, but "God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control" (2 Timothy 1:7). O Church arise.
Terrorism wins when we are too afraid to openly worship the Living God, the God of Peace, the God of Love, the Creator of the Universe. It wins when we won't share the message of Life in a world of death. It wins when we shut our doors and our hearts to those who are tired, hungry, thirsty, those needing clothing, the stranger, those who need refuge, those who are lost. Let us not forget Christ's words to his disciples, "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). O Church arise.
My heart breaks for the victims of the terrorist attacks and I wonder what I can do. I #prayforparis. I pray for the Church in Paris and the Church universal. I pray that we will not hide. Church, you know the answer. Church, you have life...don't keep it all to yourself. Church, reach out and be the hands and feet of God. Church, shine your light in the darkness so that all may see and know the glory of God. O Church arise.
O Church, let us not hide. Arise.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Yes, Uganda
Last Friday, while I was in Nashville with some friends, I finally received the details about evangelism training in Uganda!
Training will take place at the African Christian Training Institute near Kampala, Uganda and will be led by Dr. Henry Krabbendam. Dr. K was a professor of Bible and Theology when I was at Covenant college my freshman year. The training lasts for three weeks and begins right after Thanksgiving (I haven't gotten my flight details yet, but I will either be leaving Thanksgiving day or the day after). In order to attend this institute, I have to raise $3,500 over the next month.
I am very excited about this opportunity!
Please be in prayer for me as I seek to raise that support. Pray that in my excitement and in the times of stress as I seek to get everything (vaccinations, support, etc.) squared away before the trip that I would not forget the purpose of the trip. Pray that I would be sensitive to what God will teach me through this process and pray that God would be preparing the ground ahead of me even now as you read this post.
If you would like to receive ministry updates or send financial support, please email me.
Training will take place at the African Christian Training Institute near Kampala, Uganda and will be led by Dr. Henry Krabbendam. Dr. K was a professor of Bible and Theology when I was at Covenant college my freshman year. The training lasts for three weeks and begins right after Thanksgiving (I haven't gotten my flight details yet, but I will either be leaving Thanksgiving day or the day after). In order to attend this institute, I have to raise $3,500 over the next month.
I am very excited about this opportunity!
Please be in prayer for me as I seek to raise that support. Pray that in my excitement and in the times of stress as I seek to get everything (vaccinations, support, etc.) squared away before the trip that I would not forget the purpose of the trip. Pray that I would be sensitive to what God will teach me through this process and pray that God would be preparing the ground ahead of me even now as you read this post.
If you would like to receive ministry updates or send financial support, please email me.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Uganda?
On August 18, I interviewed with the Presbyterian Evangelistic Fellowship Executive Board. This was the next step in the process of joining their team of missionaries. I was both nervous and excited. In the days leading up to the interview I prayed and made sure I had my documents together--the ministry budget, the vision statement that I prepared for Craigavon Presbyterian Church, and my first ministry update. The interview was brief, only 20 minutes because they had a full slate of new ministry team candidates to interview (I believe it was the largest number of candidates since PEF's founding), so I knew I had to be concise. I had my notes in front of me, I was ready. But I don't think I was really ready for what happened at the end of the interview. At the very end, they welcomed me on board and left me with this recommendation (which I now know is a requirement of all new Team Members), that I go on a short term mission trip to Uganda for evangelism training with Dr. Henry Krabbendam.
Uganda? Really? I was surprised. Uganda has never really been on my radar for missions. Sure, while my aunt and her family were missionaries in Tanzania and Ghana, I did consider spending a couple of weeks with them (but I never followed up on the initial thought), so it's not like Africa is my Nineveh. It surprised me because I am preparing to go to Northern Ireland, and even now when I tell people that I'm going to have to first go to Uganda for training the question is "what does Uganda have to do with Northern Ireland?"
I shouldn't really be surprised. In the two weeks leading up to the interview I had been praying for evangelism training. So why should I be surprised that God answered my prayer? I was reminded of the passage that says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD" (Isaiah 55:8, emphasis mine). My way would have sent me to some conference center where I would sit with other believers, possibly missionaries, and someone (a pastor or missionary perhaps) would teach one, or more, evangelism methods, we would break into small groups of two or three and practice every so often, and at the end we would be charged to go out and do it (after all, this was my experience with the "Bridge to Life" training I got at a local church). God's way, get out of the classroom and onto the field.
What does Uganda have with Northern Ireland? While I do not have a complete or clear view, I do know that God calls people from every tribe and people and language to himself (Revelation 7:9). Also, my roommate (who is one of my biggest encouragers on my journey) and I watched the Prayercast video on Uganda earlier this week and she commented on how it is interesting that the prayer requests were similar to the Northern Ireland video that we've watched several times now in the past two years. If you haven't watched those Prayercast videos, I encourage you to click the links and watch those videos.
I am still waiting on specific details about the training in Uganda, but I am very excited about this opportunity and I hope you will join me in prayer as I prepare for this trip!
Uganda? Really? I was surprised. Uganda has never really been on my radar for missions. Sure, while my aunt and her family were missionaries in Tanzania and Ghana, I did consider spending a couple of weeks with them (but I never followed up on the initial thought), so it's not like Africa is my Nineveh. It surprised me because I am preparing to go to Northern Ireland, and even now when I tell people that I'm going to have to first go to Uganda for training the question is "what does Uganda have to do with Northern Ireland?"
I shouldn't really be surprised. In the two weeks leading up to the interview I had been praying for evangelism training. So why should I be surprised that God answered my prayer? I was reminded of the passage that says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD" (Isaiah 55:8, emphasis mine). My way would have sent me to some conference center where I would sit with other believers, possibly missionaries, and someone (a pastor or missionary perhaps) would teach one, or more, evangelism methods, we would break into small groups of two or three and practice every so often, and at the end we would be charged to go out and do it (after all, this was my experience with the "Bridge to Life" training I got at a local church). God's way, get out of the classroom and onto the field.
What does Uganda have with Northern Ireland? While I do not have a complete or clear view, I do know that God calls people from every tribe and people and language to himself (Revelation 7:9). Also, my roommate (who is one of my biggest encouragers on my journey) and I watched the Prayercast video on Uganda earlier this week and she commented on how it is interesting that the prayer requests were similar to the Northern Ireland video that we've watched several times now in the past two years. If you haven't watched those Prayercast videos, I encourage you to click the links and watch those videos.
I am still waiting on specific details about the training in Uganda, but I am very excited about this opportunity and I hope you will join me in prayer as I prepare for this trip!
Friday, May 29, 2015
Changes
Almost 2 years ago I wrote this about how I longed to be a career missionary. I longed that my student loans finally be paid off and the next school year would be my last (not because I didn't like the school, but because I ached to be on another mission field). That was my plan. It was not God's plan, and I learned to be okay with it. Honestly, I love the school, it wasn't that I couldn't wait to get out of there. So another school year went by, another group of students graduated (my first group of 7th graders at the school), God closed the door on changing my mission field, and I signed another contract.
Then, last fall right after I paid off my last student loan, my car (mine, the one that I owned outright) died and I didn't have the money for another one, not to own outright. I thought, Really, God? You say that "the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few" and here I am ready to go and you keep closing the door! I am thankful that God is so patient with me! He reminded me "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9) and "Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" (Psalm 27:14). Let's be honest, waiting isn't easy, and for someone who is a planner (hey, I'm a teacher, I have to plan ahead) not being in control of my plans was/is hard. But, I know God is faithful, I have seen his faithfulness time and time again, not just in scripture, but in my own life. As much as I thought I was ready to go, I wasn't. I still needed to learn to TRUST.
A couple of weeks after Ibought started making payments on a "new" car, I had real contact (not just an email to info@whateverministryorganization.org) with someone at Presbyterian Evangelistic Fellowship (PEF), we talked on the phone, then they sent me their ministry documents (including the application). While it seemed like a perfect fit, I took a few weeks months to read their information, praying about it, talking to others about it, and putting it off until the right time in the school year, I finally filled out the application. A few weeks ago, I heard back. They had accepted me as an evangelistic candidate! That's right. I am now a member of PEF.
So now my journey of raising support begins (and sadly that means no more full-time teaching). Please pray for me as I take this next step of faith. Also, pray for me as I prepare to go before the PEF board in August.
Then, last fall right after I paid off my last student loan, my car (mine, the one that I owned outright) died and I didn't have the money for another one, not to own outright. I thought, Really, God? You say that "the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few" and here I am ready to go and you keep closing the door! I am thankful that God is so patient with me! He reminded me "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9) and "Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" (Psalm 27:14). Let's be honest, waiting isn't easy, and for someone who is a planner (hey, I'm a teacher, I have to plan ahead) not being in control of my plans was/is hard. But, I know God is faithful, I have seen his faithfulness time and time again, not just in scripture, but in my own life. As much as I thought I was ready to go, I wasn't. I still needed to learn to TRUST.
A couple of weeks after I
So now my journey of raising support begins (and sadly that means no more full-time teaching). Please pray for me as I take this next step of faith. Also, pray for me as I prepare to go before the PEF board in August.
Friday, July 12, 2013
The Blessing of a Kidney Stone
Ever since June 22 when I was admitted to the Craigavon Area Hospital I heard people talk about how awful it was for me to spend my "holiday" like that (the nurses said it to me and behind my back...I was the talk of the ward, after all, it's not every day they get a visitor from Alabama). Even now that I've returned home, people still comment on how it must have been a miserable experience to get sick out of the country.
First of all, I am hardly ever sick, and when I am, it's even rarer that I will go see a doctor (I believe that I should spare all those poor people in the waiting room and I don't want to catch whatever they have). I am generally very healthy, so whenever I get sick, I mean really sick, I'm miserable. Sick=miserable. But that wasn't the point of what everyone was saying. Their point was that I was on holiday in a foreign country and instead of enjoying my holiday I was in the Majors Ward. I guess from their perspective it would have been awful, but I had a completely different perspective on the whole situation. Let me share with you why I believe that the kidney stone was one of my greatest blessings on the trip.
Starting with the day before, I hardly ate anything. I lost my appetite and I was very tired. I just assumed it was from being on the go for a week operating on less sleep than I'd like. I had been talking with the other girls about what the Saturday schedule was going to look like. I encouraged them to sleep in a little later because they were tired, too. And I reminded them that as we moved on to our next host church and the BBQ that they had planned that they were going to be excited and eager to meet us and it would be important not to brush them off because we were tired. This would be our second week, but it was important that we go into it with as much energy enthusiasm as the first week because it was their "first week". Later that evening the minister came to me with "bad news". He had just been in contact with the other minister and apparently they weren't going to pick us up as early as we had originally thought. The minister then explained to me that he was concerned because 1.) he had a wedding to perform and couldn't look after us and 2.) he felt like it was too late to ask the people in the church to come up with an activity for us. I told him not to worry about it, that actually it was providential, as long as the church hall was open, we could just be dropped off by our hosts at the scheduled time (so that they could go on with their plans for the day) and we could just chill until we were picked up (I was sure that the couches would all be occupied by exhausted team members), and I told him not to worry about feeding us, we could just walk down the street to the grocery store and buy our own food. They had been wonderful hosts and we weren't put out in the least that this had happened. He thought the plan was agreeable so we went off to tell the team members and host families. Actually, it worked out great because the girls were asked to do a private ballet lesson, everyone was happy.
Saturday morning was supposed to be my morning to sleep in (granted, I still had to pack) but at 4:30 I woke up in severe pain. I had no clue what was going on. Disoriented and unable to catch my breath because with each pain wave it was knocked out again I ran through possibilities of what was going on. Was it my appendix? I had no clue which side the appendix is on, but I knew that if that's what it was, it could be very serious...I Google searched it...not my appendix. Other than ruling out the appendix, the search was quite unhelpful. So I woke up my roommate, she was just as disoriented as I was, and texted my dad (like he could do anything), took ibuprofen, my roommate went back to sleep, and for a few hours I fluctuated from dull pain to excruciating and nauseating pain before I finally woke up my host. Because it was Saturday my options were 1.) wait for a doctor to get to his office or 2.) go to the A&E. The decision for the A&E was made just as another wave of pain hit like a ton of bricks. We woke up my roommate again, who, still disoriented, made plans to go to the hospital with me.
My first thought when we called for an ambulance (the reason for the ambulance being that I would be admitted faster) was Thank God our plans changed last night. He was providing for the team in more ways than we expected. It's now 9:30, we were originally supposed to be picked up at 10, at least this way the team (and new church) won't be waiting on me...Then came the ambulance ride, my first ever (and Lord willing, last) ambulance ride. As someone who is prone to motion sickness, I was a little worried about the ride, but God held of the next wave of pain and nausea until after we arrived at the hospital...but I'm getting a little ahead of myself. I don't know too much about medical bills, again, I'm generally a healthy person, but I do remember that when my "baby" brother was about 5 he had a few ER visits and ambulance rides and I remember my parents talking about how they were going to pay the bills, especially the one for the ambulance. As I rode in that ambulance I thought about how Memorial Day weekend someone emptied my bank account and although the bank promised to get my money back for me (she made it sound like it would happen fast) I still was waiting (even now as I write this I am still waiting on my money to be returned). Okay, to be honest, I wouldn't be able to afford the bill even if the money wasn't stolen, I live on a single teacher's salary with student loans that I'm working to pay off. The money that was stolen was the cushion that I was just starting to build up. I knew that I had to trust in God's provision in the matter.
When we arrived at the hospital the Majors Ward was full so we went back to Reception where I signed my life away. Northern Ireland has socialized health care for its citizens, but since I'm not a citizen of Northern Ireland I had to sign a form saying that I would pay for the services. I took a deep breath--God will provide, He is not surprised by this turn of events, He is faithful--and signed. I thought about the insurance that I thought we got for the trip, I didn't know how it would work, but I was sure once I could contact someone it would all be taken care of. Shortly a bed opened up in the Majors Ward and and once again we waited. For the first time the whole trip I really felt like I was in another county. I was disconnected, which hadn't bothered me before, but this time it left me feeling quite helpless. It had been 5 hours since my last contact with my dad (shortly after I texted him, I lost the ability to send any more messages to update him...iMessage said it couldn't connect to the internet...oddly enough I was still able to connect to Facebook so shortly before I left the house I posted what was happening, hoping that he would see it). Neither my roommate or I had any ability to contact anyone, our phones only worked with wifi, so we sat there wondering how the rest of the team was doing, who would pick us up when it was all over, etc.
It was a long day with a lot of waiting. Blood and urine samples were taken and I was sent off for an X-ray...I sighed I'm going to be in debt for the rest of my life but God is good. Lunch was served and a member of the congregation showed up...relief. Actually, the other team members were all at his house, so when he got there he called his wife and the silence was broken. At least now people would know what was going on. Then another wave of pain hit that was just as bad as the one that woke me up. The others excused themselves to get food and to let me rest and the nurse came back reporting that nothing showed up on the X-ray but the blood showed a problem with my kidney and she told me that they were prepping a CT scan for me...then she realized I was in pain and administered morphine (I had previously refused morphine in the ambulance, but this time it was so bad that I was ready for some relief). When she left, and my head cleared a little, I found myself praying. I prayed for all of the people we worked with over the past week. I prayed for the private ballet lessons. I prayed for the upcoming week. I praised God because He is sovereign. I asked God for His provision (by that point I finally had contact with the person who was supposed to get the insurance...he said I would have to submit the paperwork when I got home and I would be reimbursed). And then I acknowledged that God has a purpose for all things, it was no accident that I was in the hospital, and I prayed that God would open the door for me to share my faith (everyone in the ward was talking about me, so I knew that there would be an opportunity) and that He would give me the boldness once the door was opened.
While I was praying, someone in a bed near me started to sing. I don't know what she was singing, but I think she was singing to her husband. When I finished my prayer, my morphine induced state emboldened me to also start singing. This is not normal for me. Yes, I like to sing, but I also am reserved and don't like to draw attention to myself, but I thought, hey, if other people are singing, I might as well sing praises to my God. I'm pretty sure I sang "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" because we sang it the night before and it was still floating around in my head. When I finished, I dozed off until the nurse came to take me for my CT scan. She asked lots of questions, but my head was fuzzy, so I was concerned that I was giving the right answers...I do know that I told her I was there to work with local churches to help with their Bible Club...she was disinterested. Then the technician asked me a series of questions, again I wondered if I was giving the right answers, but then I remember very clearly his curiosity of why in the world I was in Northern Ireland...so I dove in. I told him that I wasn't on holiday that I was working with a church. I talked about my love for the people in Ireland and how it paled in comparison to God's love. I talked about sin and our need for salvation and that the salvation only comes through Jesus Christ. I hope I made sense...anyway, it's God who saves, not me, I am just an instrument.
When I went back to the Majors Ward I was informed by my roommate that the church member had talked with Reception and that I would not be charged for the visit. I don't know how he took care of that, but I am grateful. After a little more waiting (for a total of 6 hours in the A&E) they reported back that they found a small kidney stone, that I should be able to pass it on my own, they prescribed pain killers and something else to help with the kidney stone, and scheduled a followup visit. A side note, during the time I was in the hospital we were in contact with the other church and once again the pick up time was moved back so by the time I was released I had plenty of time to have tea (I still wasn't feeling great so I only ate toast), go back and pack, and then meet up with our new hosts.
Never once did I doubt God's sovereignty in the event. I trusted that He would provide a way to pay for all the expenses that were piling up, I just didn't know how. I knew that He had a purpose, I just didn't know what other than to show His power and glory. Even in the days ahead as my recovery was slow (I didn't pass the kidney stone until late Tuesday night) I felt God's presence and strength. I was never actually admitted in my followup, I sat in a waiting room and the doctor visited me there, I had more blood work, an ultrasound (which showed the kidney stone was still there), got more medicine, but still no bill. Even though the medicine made me extremely drowsy, God gave me the strength to keep going in the ministry (I did miss all of the Sunday events and a couple of the outings, but even when I was feeling absolutely rotten God strengthened me for the Bible Club).
Again I will say that I believe that the kidney stone was one of the greatest blessings on the trip. Through it God displayed His power as a provider, as sovereign, as the One who gives strength for His glory. It was a blessing that strengthened my faith. A blessing that I will be able to look back on in the future and say, See what God did? God can do the same now. And even if He doesn't, I will still praise Him.
First of all, I am hardly ever sick, and when I am, it's even rarer that I will go see a doctor (I believe that I should spare all those poor people in the waiting room and I don't want to catch whatever they have). I am generally very healthy, so whenever I get sick, I mean really sick, I'm miserable. Sick=miserable. But that wasn't the point of what everyone was saying. Their point was that I was on holiday in a foreign country and instead of enjoying my holiday I was in the Majors Ward. I guess from their perspective it would have been awful, but I had a completely different perspective on the whole situation. Let me share with you why I believe that the kidney stone was one of my greatest blessings on the trip.
Starting with the day before, I hardly ate anything. I lost my appetite and I was very tired. I just assumed it was from being on the go for a week operating on less sleep than I'd like. I had been talking with the other girls about what the Saturday schedule was going to look like. I encouraged them to sleep in a little later because they were tired, too. And I reminded them that as we moved on to our next host church and the BBQ that they had planned that they were going to be excited and eager to meet us and it would be important not to brush them off because we were tired. This would be our second week, but it was important that we go into it with as much energy enthusiasm as the first week because it was their "first week". Later that evening the minister came to me with "bad news". He had just been in contact with the other minister and apparently they weren't going to pick us up as early as we had originally thought. The minister then explained to me that he was concerned because 1.) he had a wedding to perform and couldn't look after us and 2.) he felt like it was too late to ask the people in the church to come up with an activity for us. I told him not to worry about it, that actually it was providential, as long as the church hall was open, we could just be dropped off by our hosts at the scheduled time (so that they could go on with their plans for the day) and we could just chill until we were picked up (I was sure that the couches would all be occupied by exhausted team members), and I told him not to worry about feeding us, we could just walk down the street to the grocery store and buy our own food. They had been wonderful hosts and we weren't put out in the least that this had happened. He thought the plan was agreeable so we went off to tell the team members and host families. Actually, it worked out great because the girls were asked to do a private ballet lesson, everyone was happy.
Saturday morning was supposed to be my morning to sleep in (granted, I still had to pack) but at 4:30 I woke up in severe pain. I had no clue what was going on. Disoriented and unable to catch my breath because with each pain wave it was knocked out again I ran through possibilities of what was going on. Was it my appendix? I had no clue which side the appendix is on, but I knew that if that's what it was, it could be very serious...I Google searched it...not my appendix. Other than ruling out the appendix, the search was quite unhelpful. So I woke up my roommate, she was just as disoriented as I was, and texted my dad (like he could do anything), took ibuprofen, my roommate went back to sleep, and for a few hours I fluctuated from dull pain to excruciating and nauseating pain before I finally woke up my host. Because it was Saturday my options were 1.) wait for a doctor to get to his office or 2.) go to the A&E. The decision for the A&E was made just as another wave of pain hit like a ton of bricks. We woke up my roommate again, who, still disoriented, made plans to go to the hospital with me.
My first thought when we called for an ambulance (the reason for the ambulance being that I would be admitted faster) was Thank God our plans changed last night. He was providing for the team in more ways than we expected. It's now 9:30, we were originally supposed to be picked up at 10, at least this way the team (and new church) won't be waiting on me...Then came the ambulance ride, my first ever (and Lord willing, last) ambulance ride. As someone who is prone to motion sickness, I was a little worried about the ride, but God held of the next wave of pain and nausea until after we arrived at the hospital...but I'm getting a little ahead of myself. I don't know too much about medical bills, again, I'm generally a healthy person, but I do remember that when my "baby" brother was about 5 he had a few ER visits and ambulance rides and I remember my parents talking about how they were going to pay the bills, especially the one for the ambulance. As I rode in that ambulance I thought about how Memorial Day weekend someone emptied my bank account and although the bank promised to get my money back for me (she made it sound like it would happen fast) I still was waiting (even now as I write this I am still waiting on my money to be returned). Okay, to be honest, I wouldn't be able to afford the bill even if the money wasn't stolen, I live on a single teacher's salary with student loans that I'm working to pay off. The money that was stolen was the cushion that I was just starting to build up. I knew that I had to trust in God's provision in the matter.
When we arrived at the hospital the Majors Ward was full so we went back to Reception where I signed my life away. Northern Ireland has socialized health care for its citizens, but since I'm not a citizen of Northern Ireland I had to sign a form saying that I would pay for the services. I took a deep breath--God will provide, He is not surprised by this turn of events, He is faithful--and signed. I thought about the insurance that I thought we got for the trip, I didn't know how it would work, but I was sure once I could contact someone it would all be taken care of. Shortly a bed opened up in the Majors Ward and and once again we waited. For the first time the whole trip I really felt like I was in another county. I was disconnected, which hadn't bothered me before, but this time it left me feeling quite helpless. It had been 5 hours since my last contact with my dad (shortly after I texted him, I lost the ability to send any more messages to update him...iMessage said it couldn't connect to the internet...oddly enough I was still able to connect to Facebook so shortly before I left the house I posted what was happening, hoping that he would see it). Neither my roommate or I had any ability to contact anyone, our phones only worked with wifi, so we sat there wondering how the rest of the team was doing, who would pick us up when it was all over, etc.
It was a long day with a lot of waiting. Blood and urine samples were taken and I was sent off for an X-ray...I sighed I'm going to be in debt for the rest of my life but God is good. Lunch was served and a member of the congregation showed up...relief. Actually, the other team members were all at his house, so when he got there he called his wife and the silence was broken. At least now people would know what was going on. Then another wave of pain hit that was just as bad as the one that woke me up. The others excused themselves to get food and to let me rest and the nurse came back reporting that nothing showed up on the X-ray but the blood showed a problem with my kidney and she told me that they were prepping a CT scan for me...then she realized I was in pain and administered morphine (I had previously refused morphine in the ambulance, but this time it was so bad that I was ready for some relief). When she left, and my head cleared a little, I found myself praying. I prayed for all of the people we worked with over the past week. I prayed for the private ballet lessons. I prayed for the upcoming week. I praised God because He is sovereign. I asked God for His provision (by that point I finally had contact with the person who was supposed to get the insurance...he said I would have to submit the paperwork when I got home and I would be reimbursed). And then I acknowledged that God has a purpose for all things, it was no accident that I was in the hospital, and I prayed that God would open the door for me to share my faith (everyone in the ward was talking about me, so I knew that there would be an opportunity) and that He would give me the boldness once the door was opened.
While I was praying, someone in a bed near me started to sing. I don't know what she was singing, but I think she was singing to her husband. When I finished my prayer, my morphine induced state emboldened me to also start singing. This is not normal for me. Yes, I like to sing, but I also am reserved and don't like to draw attention to myself, but I thought, hey, if other people are singing, I might as well sing praises to my God. I'm pretty sure I sang "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" because we sang it the night before and it was still floating around in my head. When I finished, I dozed off until the nurse came to take me for my CT scan. She asked lots of questions, but my head was fuzzy, so I was concerned that I was giving the right answers...I do know that I told her I was there to work with local churches to help with their Bible Club...she was disinterested. Then the technician asked me a series of questions, again I wondered if I was giving the right answers, but then I remember very clearly his curiosity of why in the world I was in Northern Ireland...so I dove in. I told him that I wasn't on holiday that I was working with a church. I talked about my love for the people in Ireland and how it paled in comparison to God's love. I talked about sin and our need for salvation and that the salvation only comes through Jesus Christ. I hope I made sense...anyway, it's God who saves, not me, I am just an instrument.
When I went back to the Majors Ward I was informed by my roommate that the church member had talked with Reception and that I would not be charged for the visit. I don't know how he took care of that, but I am grateful. After a little more waiting (for a total of 6 hours in the A&E) they reported back that they found a small kidney stone, that I should be able to pass it on my own, they prescribed pain killers and something else to help with the kidney stone, and scheduled a followup visit. A side note, during the time I was in the hospital we were in contact with the other church and once again the pick up time was moved back so by the time I was released I had plenty of time to have tea (I still wasn't feeling great so I only ate toast), go back and pack, and then meet up with our new hosts.
Never once did I doubt God's sovereignty in the event. I trusted that He would provide a way to pay for all the expenses that were piling up, I just didn't know how. I knew that He had a purpose, I just didn't know what other than to show His power and glory. Even in the days ahead as my recovery was slow (I didn't pass the kidney stone until late Tuesday night) I felt God's presence and strength. I was never actually admitted in my followup, I sat in a waiting room and the doctor visited me there, I had more blood work, an ultrasound (which showed the kidney stone was still there), got more medicine, but still no bill. Even though the medicine made me extremely drowsy, God gave me the strength to keep going in the ministry (I did miss all of the Sunday events and a couple of the outings, but even when I was feeling absolutely rotten God strengthened me for the Bible Club).
Again I will say that I believe that the kidney stone was one of the greatest blessings on the trip. Through it God displayed His power as a provider, as sovereign, as the One who gives strength for His glory. It was a blessing that strengthened my faith. A blessing that I will be able to look back on in the future and say, See what God did? God can do the same now. And even if He doesn't, I will still praise Him.
"Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing"
by Robert Robinson
Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
Mount of God's unchanging love.
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I'm come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let that grace now like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Without Excuse
I have been spending a little time this morning catching up on the Mondays with Mounce blog. A fellow teacher introduced me to the blog at the end of the school year with the suggestion that I could use it in my Greek 1 and 2 classes. I still haven't worked that one out, but I have a lot of reading to do before I dismiss the idea all together. Anyway, when I left for Ireland I naturally stopped following the blog (limited internet, limited time, and all that). So this morning I read the past couple of entries, I probably would have "caught up" with the entries, but the one about General Revelation and God's Love reminded me very much of the experience I had about 3 weeks ago in Ireland.
While the team is in Ireland the churches we work with take us sightseeing during our "downtime". I've seen several beautiful places in Northern Ireland, and the church members joke that I am Miss Northern Ireland Tourism and apologize for taking me places I have already seen. (Are you kidding me? I love returning to the sights! Besides, most of the people on the team have not seen these sights.) This year, though, the first church we worked with brought us out to a place I had never even heard of, the Marble Arch Caves in County Fermanagh. For those of you who keep up with politics, Enniskillen where the G8 summit was held just the day before we went to the Marble Arch Caves is in County Fermanagh. The church we were working with was even in the flight path so we saw many helicopters going to and leaving the G8 summit.
From the moment we began our descent into the cave and the cool air surrounded me, I was struck by the beauty of the place. And then we were at an underground lake and we had to take boats in order to continue the tour and I knew this was going to be a highlight of my trip. Everything was so still, so peaceful. The air was naturally cool (we were in a cave) and I like cool temperatures. And everywhere we looked there was more beauty. I was struck at how much beauty was underground and how only God, the Creator of the universe, who is Beauty, could create something so lovely. It CRIED OUT His praises. Even in the stillness of the caves, even in the silence, you could almost hear the rocks singing, the stream that flowed bubbled with songs of His glory. By the time we got to the Underwater City (a place where the water is so still that it reflects so clearly the ceiling above that it looks like there is a city in the water) I was so overwhelmed by the beauty and the majesty of the place that I stood for a while trying to hold back tears.
God, the Creator of the universe, made all of what we saw and He enjoyed it for centuries before the caves were explored. The tour guide explained that the early inhabitants knew about the caves but were very superstitious and afraid of the caves. God created it to glorify Himself. He enjoys it. And He loves us so much and desires for us to glorify Him so He has shared its beauty with us. That humbles me. We can have an intimate relationship with God and He does share His beauty with us so that we might know Him better. I am not worthy.
While I was soaking in the beauty all around me, I was reminded of the very passage that Mounce references in his blog (see link above). In light of all of this I am convinced now even more than ever that we all really are without excuse. All of creation testifies that there is a Creator God and it is by the hardness of our hearts that we are unable to see it and recognize the True God.
While the team is in Ireland the churches we work with take us sightseeing during our "downtime". I've seen several beautiful places in Northern Ireland, and the church members joke that I am Miss Northern Ireland Tourism and apologize for taking me places I have already seen. (Are you kidding me? I love returning to the sights! Besides, most of the people on the team have not seen these sights.) This year, though, the first church we worked with brought us out to a place I had never even heard of, the Marble Arch Caves in County Fermanagh. For those of you who keep up with politics, Enniskillen where the G8 summit was held just the day before we went to the Marble Arch Caves is in County Fermanagh. The church we were working with was even in the flight path so we saw many helicopters going to and leaving the G8 summit.
From the moment we began our descent into the cave and the cool air surrounded me, I was struck by the beauty of the place. And then we were at an underground lake and we had to take boats in order to continue the tour and I knew this was going to be a highlight of my trip. Everything was so still, so peaceful. The air was naturally cool (we were in a cave) and I like cool temperatures. And everywhere we looked there was more beauty. I was struck at how much beauty was underground and how only God, the Creator of the universe, who is Beauty, could create something so lovely. It CRIED OUT His praises. Even in the stillness of the caves, even in the silence, you could almost hear the rocks singing, the stream that flowed bubbled with songs of His glory. By the time we got to the Underwater City (a place where the water is so still that it reflects so clearly the ceiling above that it looks like there is a city in the water) I was so overwhelmed by the beauty and the majesty of the place that I stood for a while trying to hold back tears.
God, the Creator of the universe, made all of what we saw and He enjoyed it for centuries before the caves were explored. The tour guide explained that the early inhabitants knew about the caves but were very superstitious and afraid of the caves. God created it to glorify Himself. He enjoys it. And He loves us so much and desires for us to glorify Him so He has shared its beauty with us. That humbles me. We can have an intimate relationship with God and He does share His beauty with us so that we might know Him better. I am not worthy.
While I was soaking in the beauty all around me, I was reminded of the very passage that Mounce references in his blog (see link above). In light of all of this I am convinced now even more than ever that we all really are without excuse. All of creation testifies that there is a Creator God and it is by the hardness of our hearts that we are unable to see it and recognize the True God.
For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divne nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. ~ Romans 1:18-20
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Be Strong and Courageous
For years, yes years (ever since I took my first short term trip in the spring of 2006), I have longingly browsed websites for various missions organizations, thinking, praying that one day once my student loans were paid off, I would go full time. While I think that most of my intentions for waiting until my students loans were paid off (I didn't want to put that burden on supporters), part of it was fear (maybe I'll grow up a little and be more ready, more usable on the mission field). Every spring since then I look for full time opportunities, then check on my student loan status, and then pray, and let it go...next year will be the year, if only I could pay off that loan faster...
This past spring I finally decided that I would inform my principal that the 2013-14 school year would more than likely be my last (I know, that's a lot of notice, but it's not always easy finding someone to teach Latin and Greek. That move terrified me. I have security at the school. I have friends at the school. Even now the thought of this next year being my last kind of scares me. It also strangely excites me as I am beginning the search for a missions organization. I received my first mailing from an organization yesterday. I hope to hear from others soon. I hope that at least one will hear what I propose, a performing arts ministry in Northern Ireland, and want me to join their team.
What does God have in store for me as I move forward? I honestly don't know. A few things I do know: 1.) I am still contracted to teach this upcoming school year so it's not over for me yet. I'll make the most of it. 2.) God has sent me friends who are like-minded in missions. Perhaps He is already building his team. 3.) God is faithful and He has already addressed my fears:
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. ~ Joshua 1:9
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